Friday, March 17, 2017

Tolerance and Attitudes among Car Enthusiasts

Something I have always valued the car enthusiast community for is that it's like one big family. We go to lengths to help each other out with our toys. Firm friends outside the hobby. One sunny day in 1999, having just bought my first LHD car, I showed up in the paddock at Tech Ridge to a motor sport event on a new continent, and to the expected warm welcome. The car and motor sport scene in Austin has only gotten better since then, and the people are awesome.

Thus I've been kinda disappointed lately by some of the negative and polarised ways we comment on each other these days, invading this bonhomie. It's a symptom of the times, and frankly we've all been doing it. I don't think it's out of meanness or hate, but rather thoughtlessness. I've seen quite a few examples of inappropriate jibes of all kinds, national origin, religion, politics, socioeconomic status, ..... but I am going to talk about a couple which fall in an area I am a passionate advocate fort, mental health.

I failed recently to use such an occasion as a teaching moment, being candidly unable to get ahead of my own ire. Perhaps this will redress that balance.
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The use of the word "retard" as an insult seems to be on the rise. People who would not discriminate against a special needs child will nonetheless say this without a second thought. I've heard the claim that it's not a health related slur, that it's about engineering or the French word. Nonsense, we all said it at school and we all know where it came from. Think about what you are saying, making a disability into an insult. Would you make the same excuses for this in front of a parent of such a child?

There is no need to say that ... use a word which communicates the appropriate mild insult but which is not perjorative. I recommend the American "dumbass" or Scottish "numpty".
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I heard the "are you off your meds" one yesterday. It's a 5th grade level ad hominem which speaks to the intellect and breeding of the person saying it, and superficially easily blown off, but once again, the actual statement is very inappropriate. Someone took offence with something you said online, so they must be risking their life and health and having issues with cognition? Maybe you just said something that legitimately offended them. Ask why they're mad.

When you pull the lid off this is a rather dark subject and not one to make fun of. There are several reasons people stop taking medication: in the USA often because they can't afford it, horrifying to me; sometimes the side effects are so severe it's easier to try to cope with being mentally ill without help; for some, an altered mental state can have the appeal of a drug - Robin Williams used to go off medication to write, and sometimes to perform, and paid the ultimate price for it.

Once again, you can express incredulity in a light hearted way. "Are you high?" is a good one for Austin, but please don't say that to a recovering addict. "Did you forget your coffee this morning?" is pretty safe.
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One which disturbed me more was the statement "people with a mental illness should not be allowed to be president" ... obviously a shot at Donald Trump, and I'll come back to that, but once again the actual statement is wholly inappropriate - it's saying that 20m Americans with a wide variety of different diagnoses and health needs should be barred from this political office. This runs counter to our cultural principles, and indeed if you want to be literal, the constitution and federal employment laws. On its own merits, it shows an ignorance of the reality of mental illness - most people with one are not mentally ill, they have treatment, and it doesn't always have a negative impact on intellectual function, in some cases it offers specialized abilities over and above the norm.

To the job at hand, people with bipolar disorder make great leaders ... Lincoln, Teddy R, LBJ and Winston Churchill were all bipolar. Me too :) People with Donald Trump's condition are better at perceiving other's emotions than average (betcha didn't know that :) and I'd assume that's helpful in negotiations. I'm told by someone who worked with Ben Carson he is a very talented surgeon, even if he is deluded about some basic facts, perhaps somewhat of a savant?

Donald Trump has a mental illness[1], and moreover it's untreated and he is mentally ill. It's so pronounced you can tell on the TV. Should he be fired for this? My ethics say no. However, his unmet mental health need is affecting his job performance, and putting myself in the role of manager of someone in his situation, I would ask him to seek treatment.

This is serious stuff, I cannot remember the suicide rate for NPD but it is not insignificant, and with a high success rate. I have empathy. I lived Melanija's home life for years.

[1] Narcissistic Personality Disorder, F60.81

Taking pot shots at politicians is something they make very easy by their own actions, and there should never be a need to insult someone else on the side.
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It's simply being mindful of what we're actually saying and how it might affect others. You might ask why this is so important, or tell me I'm being overly sensitive. This is not about someone having a few hurt feelings, I am deadly serious. It's about the tone it sets, and how it sustains ignorant stereotypes and prejudices. Stigma and taboo drives people away from seeking help.

The numbers are large ... about 7% of people have a permanent mental health need, diagnosed or not, and nearly a third will suffer a period of major mental illness such as major depression. Think about how many people that translates to in your life.

We lost a young man from the Austin car community a couple of years ago to a mental health crisis. Perhaps if he'd felt more comfortable in speaking out he might have had the anchor to stay and dig his way out of the hole. I have my own guilt for not recognizing how bad the situation was and intervening.

It's OK to have fun with mental health too, as long as you laugh with someone and not at their expense. People get up to some crazy shit (pun) when they are not themselves, and you have to either laugh or cringe. Buying a Mazda with a rotary engine is surely a symptom.
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I want to end on a positive note - people who say these kinds of things and then stand behind them are rare.
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If you are curious and have questions about mental healthcare, including fun anecdotes, do ask, below or in a PM. The more people know, the more it helps. Sometimes all it takes is a sympathetic and non-judgemental ear to save a life.

If you are feeling like shit, talk to someone. Anyone who will listen. If you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. Anytime.

Finally Started a Blog

I never bothered with one in the past, but I've been writing things in Facebook posts with content I'd like to be easily able to reference and keep online. Content is cars, politics, computing, mental health rights, science and my usual interests.